I wannas sexs uuuuu
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Randomize
