Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Dicks are not precious.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
