is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
it wasn't lemon gatorade
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
