come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
