do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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