are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
