so explain again why im purple
no
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
