so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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