I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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