While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
