I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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