I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
