do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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