Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
