I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
