Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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