erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Too much gin, very little bucket
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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