haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
