holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
