is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
