I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Randomize
