My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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