tell your sister to shave her snatch
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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