I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
