My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
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