bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Randomize