Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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