do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
