If i come over, it means nothing
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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