don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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