yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Randomize
