Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
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