I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
