Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
