Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
My breasts were aching with rage.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
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