the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize