Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
