Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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