You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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