On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
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