umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
