Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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