The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
