Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
