i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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