I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
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