You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
