Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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