fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
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