end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
