oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
These tits shall not be calmed
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
