I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Life is so much better after having sex.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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