Whod you bang
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
