just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize