we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
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