What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize