You're my little dorito
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
