You can't motorboat a personality
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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