I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
