Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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